Service House
by Onde
Summary: the rules of the game are simple. Out of two hats you pick a name and an action, and you must complete the action against that person before the week is through. Wilson got House...and French Maid? Slash, Smut HousexWilson Companion fic to On The House


((A/N:: So. Again a House fic and I have yet to read any! I must cure myself of that somehow…anyone want to send me some good fics you have stored? Hehe. Anywho…I have had requests asking for a fiction that does what Wilson got dared in that hospital game…so here you go. Enjoy. Also, don't forget to review.))

**Disclaimer: **Though many fallen eyelashes have gone to the wish, the House characters are not mine. It's a pity, but true.

**Warning: **It's Slash! It's Smut! It has Drag! And some language issues….but they say French is the language of Romance…..

**Dedication: **To Mollie who came up with the last cracked out idea and helped me with this one. To Tori for being cool and making sure I kept on writing and helping me out on my writer's block (and making me add more smut), and to those who reviewed me-cause y'all are awesome. Dur.

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Wilson looked up at the knock on his door. Shifting his papers he dog-eared the part of the file he was reading before clearing his throat. "Come in." He called out, lifting his eyes to the door. He expected it to be House, or maybe one of the nurses, but when Chase walked in he had to raise an eyebrow. Usually he stuck like a burr to the rest of the team in their part of the hospital, only toddling out during a case or when they followed House. But here the blonde stood with two hats in his hand, and Wilson had to frown for a moment before he remembered the game that the others in the hospital were talking about.

His mouth turned to a smile and he stood. "My turn to pick then?" He glanced to the two worn hats as he spoke. Where had they found them? Plucked them off a dying patient maybe? No, that was something House would have done and he knew House had not known of the game until recently. They probably came out of the lost and found.

Chase nodded and started forward. "Sorry it took so long to get to you, we didn't expect so many people to want to jump on." He laughed slightly. "Boredom makes people willing to take risks I guess."

Wilson nodded again and walked over to Chase, waiting for the hats to be put in front of him so that he may pick the name and dare, and maybe find something else to do besides looking through old files-a job more fitting for an intern. He probably should have been finding someone else to do it, but he had also hit a slow spot with the rest of the hospital. There were only so many times one could visit a patient's room, especially when there was no new news.

Chase didn't hold out the hats though. Instead he shifted them to one hand, making sure not to spill the papers, and fished into his pocket. Again Wilson frowned, and moved to comment before the Australian pulled out a piece of paper and pushed it into Wilson's palm. "You are probably the only one who can handle him." The blonde nodded, as he went to separate the hats again.

Wilson continued to frown before looking down to the name scrawled on the small sheet. He shook his head and sighed. "House. Of course-how am I not surprised?" He looked up to Chase again who offered a weak smile, the type given to a small child when their first pet goldfish dies, an innocent understanding pity. "Sorry. But he would probably make anyone cry if they had to do something to him, and well-you know how to deal with him, how he thinks."

"I don't think anyone knows how Gregory House thinks." Wilson mumbled but sighed as he accepted his fate. Chase was right and he didn't wish to deal with any more sobbing and emotionally scarred Nurses than need be. House already left enough of those in his wake.

He reached his hand into the second hat to see how exactly he would be dealing with the crabby doctor and after a moment shook out one of the folded pieces and opened it. He looked to Chase who waited for him to read the dare. Wilson returned his eyes to the neat handwriting, different than that which had written out House's name, and groaned.

"Play French Maid. Service house."

The double meaning of the words hit him hard and had he been a teenage boy he probably would be laughing, as it was, he could hear a snicker escape the blonde next to him. "Have fun with that."

Wilson looked up and shook his head slightly before sighing and turning to walk back to his desk. "Oh don't worry I will." His voice was dry as he spoke and sank back into his seat. Chase laughed again and moved out of his office and Wilson fiddled with the file he had been reading before pushing it away and looking to the dare again.

How could he pull this one off?

If he just showed up at House's home, ready to clean up, he knew he wouldn't live it down. House would probably spend the whole time commenting as he did, and that was no fun. Besides, cleaning wasn't fun-and weren't these dares suppose to be amusing? He had seen what Chase had to do. Dress up as Sebastian from "The Little Mermaid." and serenade Doctor Lock in the lobby with "Under the Sea."

Chase latter disclosed his dare had been "Dress up as Favorite Disney character. Sing song, in public place."

Why couldn't He have gotten something fun like that? Then again…no…he was glad he had avoided that one. His voice was horribly out of tune, and he doubted he would be able to get into a dress like Belle wore during that ball scene. Yellow was such horrible color for his skin tone, and if he was going to dress in drag-he at least wanted to look nice in it.

Wilson paused at that thought. Drag. A small smile crept across his face as he snatched up his dare again and read it once more as he began to chuckle. Oh yes, he would have fun.

Tossing the sheet towards the trashcan, he moved to his computer and clicked on the Internet browser, going to pull up the number for the local costume store.

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House yawned as he moved towards his front door, pulling out his key and moved to unlock it. He just wanted to get inside, grab some coffee and relax in front of the TV. The lack of cases was making his head spin. Hell, he was even willing to pull out one of those 1500 piece jigsaw puzzles he got as a kid, just to give himself something slightly challenging to do.

He paused, as he dropped the key into his pocket. The door was already unlocked-though he could have sworn he had locked it that morning. What ever, hopefully no one had gotten in. Replacing that stereo system had been a bitch.

Slowly he opened the door, and stepped inside. He flipped on his light and moved to hang his cane when he paused for a second time. Was that a chocolate on his table? Hopefully, he didn't think a piece of shit could be shaped like a heart, nor would he like to see anyone attempt to shape it as such. Upon closer inspection, he found it was chocolate-and popped it into his mouth. He let the sweet flavor sink onto his tongue as he glanced around.

Since when did he leave his house so neat? And what was that smell-like rosemary, and chicken. Damn, it smelled anything but bad really-which was how his cooking usually ended up.

"Hello?" he called out, stepping further into his apartment.

"Bonjour." The voice responding was male, and the accent faked. House frowned, but then it hit him why this was happening. It didn't take a genius to realize he had just fallen victim to the Hospital's version of truth and dare.

He sighed. "Come out where ever you are." He called out impatiently, turning his head slightly. A light switch turned on near the kitchen, and House turned towards it only to have his jaw fall open. Not much shocked the doctor, but the sight before him sure as hell did.

Wilson leaned against the doorframe, a smirk on lips that were painted red. Shadow dashed over his eyes, and there was a hint of rouge on his cheeks. If the make-up wasn't enough to put House in a stupor, his outfit was. The fabric was black and white and lacey-well…what fabric there was at least, seeing as the French maid costume didn't have much. He wore heeled shoes with it over black leggings that ended in a garter on one thigh. He tapped a feather duster against the other thigh, and a pouf of a hat sat on his head. A smirk hung on his lips as he watched House's face.

"Is something wrong Monsieur?" He asked, pouting slightly before moving towards House, who only shook his head and gapped more.

"Wilson?"

"Oui?" The male grinned as he moved foreword and House shook his head, before frowning as he tried to figure out why his colleague was dressed as a French maid and in his apartment, not that he minded really. Suddenly he smiled as a thought hit him. "Your dare?" He asked as Wilson drew nearly face to face. "Oui."

Wilson pulled out the slip of paper and pressed it into House's palm. He lifted it and looked it over before snorting. "Service House?" He commented before he crumpled up the white and stuffed it into his pocket. "Is that why this place is so clean?" Wilson nodded before placing his hand on House's chest and dropping to his knees.

Once again House was startled and Wilson looked up to him with a small smirk as he reached for his belt buckle. "Service House." Was his only response and House laughed as Wilson pulled open his fly and pulled his length out into the open air. He moved his hand over his length, letting it harden in his grasp as House closed his eyes. "I don't think this is what the dare meant."

"It should have been clearer then." He responded as he leaned his mouth foreword, letting his breath play over House's half-erection, making it twitch a little as the doctor let out a small groan and placed his hand in Wilson's hair, flattening the little hat in the process. Wilson leaned foreword and slipped his painted lips over the head, and began to swirl his tongue. House's response was only to grow harder and to jerk his hips foreword.

Delicate as he dressed, Wilson didn't act quite so delicately with his mouthful. Wasting no time, he slipped as much down his throat as possible as he braced his hands on House's thighs. Someone had been practicing it seemed, for he didn't gag as he began to move his head. House's hand quickly tightened in his curls as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back slightly. There was no way he was going to protest this.

It wasn't long before Wilson's actions had House grunting. He didn't warn the brunette as he began to cum, but Wilson didn't skip a beat. He kept milking the other, pulling back when House had calmed and looking up to him. Slowly he got to his feet and pecked the gasping doctor on the lips before he could protest, his lipstick smeared.

House looked to him, still catching his breath and moved to wipe some of the red away.

"For a maid, you sure aren't tidy."

Wilson laughed and drew nearer. "Yes I am. I cleaned you up quite nicely, no?"

House smirked and moved to respond before a bell sounded from the kitchen area and Wilson jumped from him, clapping his hands together. House looked quite confused before Wilson laughed and smirked.

"Dinner is served."

He took hold of House's hand, who followed without a word as he was led into the dining room. Wilson sat him down at the table and moved into the kitchen as he left House to look at the place set up in front of him. He recognized his good china as well as one of the Wine glasses he had gotten at his wedding. He thought he had managed to lose those when he moved. Guess not.

Wilson came out of the kitchen with a smile on his face. His little lace hat had been fixed, and his lipstick retouched. He carried a try, which he set on the table before pulling a bottle of wine from the ice bucket on the floor. He poured House a glass before serving the male.

The dish was a roasted herb chicken with mashed potatoes and greens. The wine picked was a sweet red, and would go well with the dish.

"Bon Appétit." Wilson smiled as he stepped back.  
"Aren't you going to join me?"

Wilson laughed. "A maid never eats with the Master." He responded with a nod, and House merely shrugged. But, he couldn't help but like being called Master. It was one of those things he could get used to quite easily. Picking up his fork he dug in and raised an eyebrow at the first bite.

"Did you make this?"

"Oui."  
"It's very good."

"There are a lot of things I am good at…" Wilson trailed off with a smirk, his tone having just enough to make House look up with a raised eyebrow before digging back in. His plate was clear soon enough, and Wilson swept by and picked it up before moving to the kitchen.  
"Time for Dessert."

Dessert was a chocolate cake, this time bought from a French bakery. Wilson once again stood at the edge of the room as House at, the doctor glancing up when he was finished. "I thought French meals had more than two courses?" Wilson only laughed and moved forward. He pushed the empty plate as well and swung himself onto House's lap.

"Whoever said that would be it?" He leaned forward and kissed him. House responded, moving his hands to Wilson's hips as he shifted his head to get a better angle, slipping his tongue past Wilson's lips.

After a while, Wilson broke the kiss. He brought his mouth to House's ear instead, licking along the curve before giving a breathy chuckle. "avoir le sexe avec moi." He whispered as he ground his hips down and House moaned slightly. "Oui. How could I say no?" He asked as he slowly moved to get up, Wilson following suit as he took his hand and led him to the bedroom. He replied only with a chuckle.

A trail of clothing led the path from chair to bed. Pieces of House's suit intercepted with parts of Wilson's costume, including stockings, skirt, garter, and yes; a pair of silk underwear. Naked, they barely made the bed as they flopped themselves down, letting their bodies tangle as their lips remained locked. Wilson's lipstick became hopelessly smudged to the point where it was nonexistent, and the hat he had so carefully pinned upon his curls was once again crushed, this time fluttering down to the floor as House brought their hips together.

Despite his age, the amount of drugs in his system, and the fact he had already came once that day House had a boner to match Wilson's. Both moaned as they moved together, the friction amazing between the two. House groped to the side, to his side table where he kept condoms. All he managed to do was knock over his alarm clock before Wilson tapped his back and pressed a condom and a bottle of French scented oil into his hand. House let out a small growl, moving to kiss his neck as Wilson let out a low chuckle.

He helped House place both items onto his erection, before applying some of the oil to himself and grinning up to the doctor who shifted them both so he was on top. House smirked down before they locked lips again, and he pushed inside his friend.

At first his hips moved steadily, his leg protesting for a moment before House's mind told it to shut up and enjoy. His thrusts became faster and harder, and Wilson's moans louder-a scream escaping his mouth when House caught an angle that hit his prostate. With an evil smirk, House set to work on that spot only, and Wilson was left only with moans in his mouth and the occasional swear. It tickled House when he said his name as well, and responded with Wilson's. Bodies moving, sweat thickening, it didn't take long for them to come. Leaving a mess for the maid to clean up after.

Both lay panting under the covers, House's arms around Wilson's hips with his chest pressed against his back. He leaned foreword to kiss the back of his neck, nipping there slightly before Wilson let out a moan and House let out a chuckle.

"That was amazing."  
Wilson only smiled and nodded. "I know." He replied again, his hand snaking back and running along one of House's thighs. "I think…." House trailed off and Wilson looked up, raising an eyebrow and House looked down to him again.

"I think I will hire a you to come in every Friday night, you make a bloody good maid-did I tell you that?" Wilson only chuckled and turned in his arms to face him. House looked to him and smirked. "So, How about it? What are your wages?…"

Wilson's smile turned to a grin as he leaned in and kissed House again, his hand moving from thigh to crotch. "I'm sure we can work something out." He squeezed and winked.

House smirked slightly and let his lips brush against Wilson's again.

"Oh la la"

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((Well. I hope you liked this Challenge fic as well.  I hope y'all review because I would love it so much. Also check out my other stuff. Cool beans.))


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